Monday, October 20, 2008

And when we can see things clearer than we think we see them now...

Today was a hard day.

I was at work way too long. My unit is melting down. It has gotten to the point where the +18F staff (aka me, Ebonie and Kristi) just have to laugh- or we would go crazy.

But I love my girls. As much of a mess as it is and as much as they are causing problems right now...they are so loveable and wonderful that I almost think there is something wrong with me that makes me love these broken, disrespectful, messy, rude people so much. But I do. I held 'my baby' all morning (her mom is okay with the fact that she is mine at this point, haha) and just thought about how lucky I am.

I get to spend my days with my family- with the ones I love. And I never feel crazy when I am there because I see the world is a sea of problems- for those of us who are forced to deal with them....well, I think we are special, strong people.

It was a hard day though. I missed someone very much. It was a beautiful, beautiful day when I left my house. It smelled exactly the way fall should....and I started to smile but ended up crying because I so wanted to share it with them and they weren't there. They aren't here anymore. That is a hard thing to take in.

But for now I am going to put my feelings and confusion aside- for it is Matt Nathanson night. I am sooo over letting other people ruin him for me. And so, I embark on the beautiful journey of seeing his concert with a totally random new completely emo friend who at the very least can embrace the music with me as he is a music nerd himself. And honestly...if you don't like Matt Nathanson, I am convinced you have no soul.

So off I go. And I leave you with some of his most prominent ballads in my life presently:

how

i


feel

tonight

<3

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